September - A Reflection
Alright, Here's where the blog gets personal. So I've been here in Budapest for a little over a month. I've been living, eating, going to school and doing all of the life things. And of course an experience like this doesn't just happen without learning a few things. I would like to share with you guys a couple of things I've learned, re-solidified and recognized about myself and my own life. As a rather introspective person I'm constantly evaluating and analyzing myself. My needs, my goals, who I am as a person. I think that being so far removed from my "normal" life back home allows for a greater analysis on my life as a whole. It's helped me take a few steps back and see more of the present, past and future.
To start, anyone who knows me knows that people skills are not my strong suit, and they still aren't. I haven't mastered the art of small talk or making others feel comfortable or being able to befriend strangers. But over the course of this month at least, I have made huge efforts to improve this. When I would normally shut myself indoors and be alone, instead I tagged along with other people who were going out or doing other things. I didn't necessarily enjoy what we did, but I was being sociable, approachable, and working on being more friendly.
As a new resident I've improved at talking to strangers. I'm less afraid to walk up to someone and ask for directions, or pronunciations, or clarification on something. And I think this has evolved out of necessity, but I'm grateful for it because it allows me to save time wandering aimlessly around the city, or getting on the wrong train, etc.
And I've surprised myself with just how involved I am in my classes. I don't know if it has to do with the fact that since I am taking classes in English as a native English speaker, or maybe it comes with age, but I am incredibly participated in my classes according to my normal standards. I speak comfortably and intelligently. In group discussions I assume a leader-like position and initiate conversations, ask questions and think critically. I am adept at summarizing and offering an accurate overview to the rest of the class. For me, this is amazing. My leadership skills are something that continue to surprise me and are an aspect of myself that I have gotten far more confident with in the past couple of years, and they continue to grow here.
I'm also learning just how much of a nature lover I am. Living in a big city makes me realize just how much I love the outdoors. And I don't just mean outside. I mean forests, and mountains and rivers and animals (besides pigeons) and places where nature runs wild and can do its own thing. Living in a big city environment has been hard for me in this sense because I need to see the natural world in my everyday life, and parks are decent substitute for the time being, but definitely not a solution. The city is loud, and busy and smelly and I'm still not used to it. I don't think I could ever live permanently in a large urban setting like this where I am sitting in the heart of the city center.
Continuing with the nature/city theme I've also learned that while I love to travel and see new things and have new experiences, it has it's limits. I've come to discover that I'm not actually interested in all the architecture and old buildings and famous this-and-that historical sites. That's not what I desire to see. Every now and then I don't mind it, but I'm just not very interested in it. I realize that when I'm in a new place I'm more eager to discover what kinds of natural adventures there are to be had. I'm talking about hiking and zoos and reserves, and museums more about science and less about history. I'm interested in what there is to see as far as the flora and fauna go, and less in the man-made. When I travel, I want to see the rivers and lakes and the coast and the hills, and the greenery and the rock formations and the stars. I probably miss the stars the most.
This isn't to say that I don't appreciate these other things that aren't so natural. I do enjoy looking at masterful artwork, and admiring all the creativity that a city seems to attract. Being able to wander through street vendors and artisans selling their wares is quite cool. And there is no lack of things to do in a city either. There are multitudes of bookstores - which is great, and there are tons of musical performances going on. All of these things are positives, and I think it's really neat. But I can only handle so many crowded, noisy streets, grey sidewalks and cigarettes butts before I need to get away from it all. And I think that, in this sense the city is good for me, because I'm learning what kinds of living and traveling environments are best for me. The city is not one of them. And the more I contemplate these ideas, the more clear it is to me that I want to be doing something nature-intensive with my life. I don't exactly know what that means yet, I'm trying to keep the term general for now, but I see that somehow, I'm going to need to incorporate a nature-outdoorsy aspect to my life.
Every day I am reminded just how important my family is to me. I have an awesome family, and I come from a huge network of love and support that I am more aware of each day. My siblings are fantastic and I want to make it a priority to stay close with them throughout my whole life. And I believe that this is what makes my whole study abroad experience possible. Because I know that I have enormous encouragement and support and so I don't need to be afraid of going out and being on my own since I have that awesome foundation to start out with.
I spent a monstrous amount of time reading. You know, people say I read a lot, and I see that. But for much of my life reading was just a natural part of it. I didn't think about it, it didn't require a lot of conscious effort, it was just my life. And I don't regret it. I love to read. It gives me great entertainment, and as far as I see it, a better use of my time than watching tv, or something similar. But here in Budapest there has been an absolute lack of books in my daily routine. And it's weird! There's a huge vacuum of space and time where books used to be. And I haven't figured out what to do with it yet! I have all this odd free time outside of my normal activities and I keep thinking, is this really how much time I spent reading? Yes! probably.
Lastly, taking classes here has shown me a couple things I know for certain I do not want to be doing. I'm struggling a lot with what I want to study in college and what major I want to pursue and I'm not incredibly confident in my choice in mechanical engineering, but I also don't know what else to choose. I'm interested in so many areas, and I realize that I am very capable in succeeding in a lot of those majors/careers. And so it's a challenge to sit down and decide: what do I want to study, and then being confident in that choice. At Corvinus I'm taking mainly elective classes because I didn't want to take major-specific courses if I might change my major. Corvinus is actually a very good business school, with most of its students in international business, accounting, economics and those sorts of majors. I want none of that. Attending this school and taking an economics class and being involved in the types of discussions the students generate assures me that I never want anything to do with finance or accounting, or business, etc. Which is kind of helpful because it narrows down my choices. I also know that I don't want to study history. History is interesting and cool, but I'll stick to museums. I don't need to pursue it. Economics is my least favorite class out of the ones I'm taking so you can guess that's off the list too. Whoo hoo for narrowing it down! I know it's only a small difference, but trust me, for a kid like me who wants to do almost everything, it's helpful.
Alright, believe it or not, this was the summary. I don't want to bore you guys too much. And I know that these topics are a bit random, but these have been the highlights for most of my daily reflections. I enjoy learning about myself. I think it is incredibly important in creating a better future for myself and the people around me. Thank you for listening.
-Natalie
To start, anyone who knows me knows that people skills are not my strong suit, and they still aren't. I haven't mastered the art of small talk or making others feel comfortable or being able to befriend strangers. But over the course of this month at least, I have made huge efforts to improve this. When I would normally shut myself indoors and be alone, instead I tagged along with other people who were going out or doing other things. I didn't necessarily enjoy what we did, but I was being sociable, approachable, and working on being more friendly.
As a new resident I've improved at talking to strangers. I'm less afraid to walk up to someone and ask for directions, or pronunciations, or clarification on something. And I think this has evolved out of necessity, but I'm grateful for it because it allows me to save time wandering aimlessly around the city, or getting on the wrong train, etc.
And I've surprised myself with just how involved I am in my classes. I don't know if it has to do with the fact that since I am taking classes in English as a native English speaker, or maybe it comes with age, but I am incredibly participated in my classes according to my normal standards. I speak comfortably and intelligently. In group discussions I assume a leader-like position and initiate conversations, ask questions and think critically. I am adept at summarizing and offering an accurate overview to the rest of the class. For me, this is amazing. My leadership skills are something that continue to surprise me and are an aspect of myself that I have gotten far more confident with in the past couple of years, and they continue to grow here.
I'm also learning just how much of a nature lover I am. Living in a big city makes me realize just how much I love the outdoors. And I don't just mean outside. I mean forests, and mountains and rivers and animals (besides pigeons) and places where nature runs wild and can do its own thing. Living in a big city environment has been hard for me in this sense because I need to see the natural world in my everyday life, and parks are decent substitute for the time being, but definitely not a solution. The city is loud, and busy and smelly and I'm still not used to it. I don't think I could ever live permanently in a large urban setting like this where I am sitting in the heart of the city center.
Continuing with the nature/city theme I've also learned that while I love to travel and see new things and have new experiences, it has it's limits. I've come to discover that I'm not actually interested in all the architecture and old buildings and famous this-and-that historical sites. That's not what I desire to see. Every now and then I don't mind it, but I'm just not very interested in it. I realize that when I'm in a new place I'm more eager to discover what kinds of natural adventures there are to be had. I'm talking about hiking and zoos and reserves, and museums more about science and less about history. I'm interested in what there is to see as far as the flora and fauna go, and less in the man-made. When I travel, I want to see the rivers and lakes and the coast and the hills, and the greenery and the rock formations and the stars. I probably miss the stars the most.
This isn't to say that I don't appreciate these other things that aren't so natural. I do enjoy looking at masterful artwork, and admiring all the creativity that a city seems to attract. Being able to wander through street vendors and artisans selling their wares is quite cool. And there is no lack of things to do in a city either. There are multitudes of bookstores - which is great, and there are tons of musical performances going on. All of these things are positives, and I think it's really neat. But I can only handle so many crowded, noisy streets, grey sidewalks and cigarettes butts before I need to get away from it all. And I think that, in this sense the city is good for me, because I'm learning what kinds of living and traveling environments are best for me. The city is not one of them. And the more I contemplate these ideas, the more clear it is to me that I want to be doing something nature-intensive with my life. I don't exactly know what that means yet, I'm trying to keep the term general for now, but I see that somehow, I'm going to need to incorporate a nature-outdoorsy aspect to my life.
Every day I am reminded just how important my family is to me. I have an awesome family, and I come from a huge network of love and support that I am more aware of each day. My siblings are fantastic and I want to make it a priority to stay close with them throughout my whole life. And I believe that this is what makes my whole study abroad experience possible. Because I know that I have enormous encouragement and support and so I don't need to be afraid of going out and being on my own since I have that awesome foundation to start out with.
I spent a monstrous amount of time reading. You know, people say I read a lot, and I see that. But for much of my life reading was just a natural part of it. I didn't think about it, it didn't require a lot of conscious effort, it was just my life. And I don't regret it. I love to read. It gives me great entertainment, and as far as I see it, a better use of my time than watching tv, or something similar. But here in Budapest there has been an absolute lack of books in my daily routine. And it's weird! There's a huge vacuum of space and time where books used to be. And I haven't figured out what to do with it yet! I have all this odd free time outside of my normal activities and I keep thinking, is this really how much time I spent reading? Yes! probably.
Lastly, taking classes here has shown me a couple things I know for certain I do not want to be doing. I'm struggling a lot with what I want to study in college and what major I want to pursue and I'm not incredibly confident in my choice in mechanical engineering, but I also don't know what else to choose. I'm interested in so many areas, and I realize that I am very capable in succeeding in a lot of those majors/careers. And so it's a challenge to sit down and decide: what do I want to study, and then being confident in that choice. At Corvinus I'm taking mainly elective classes because I didn't want to take major-specific courses if I might change my major. Corvinus is actually a very good business school, with most of its students in international business, accounting, economics and those sorts of majors. I want none of that. Attending this school and taking an economics class and being involved in the types of discussions the students generate assures me that I never want anything to do with finance or accounting, or business, etc. Which is kind of helpful because it narrows down my choices. I also know that I don't want to study history. History is interesting and cool, but I'll stick to museums. I don't need to pursue it. Economics is my least favorite class out of the ones I'm taking so you can guess that's off the list too. Whoo hoo for narrowing it down! I know it's only a small difference, but trust me, for a kid like me who wants to do almost everything, it's helpful.
Alright, believe it or not, this was the summary. I don't want to bore you guys too much. And I know that these topics are a bit random, but these have been the highlights for most of my daily reflections. I enjoy learning about myself. I think it is incredibly important in creating a better future for myself and the people around me. Thank you for listening.
-Natalie
Comments
Post a Comment